-- Mummy Blogger & YouTuber --

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

The day Henry fell down the stairs x

I'm a Mummy Blogger. A mummy blogger who was gifted a Lindam Safety gate. A mummy blogger who was gifted a safety gate and wrote a fancy review about it. I'm a mummy blogger who was gifted a Lindam safety gate, wrote a fancy review about it & then one day forgot to close it.  & my Little man fell down the stairs.

Yesterday whilst I was frantically getting ready for work, I took my eye off you whilst you were playing.  Instead of keeping you safe, I let my guard down.  & during that moment, I heard a noise I hope I never hear again. It was the sound of you falling down the stairs, falling so far away from me, banging your poor developing head at the bottom.  Mummy let you down...
Little Moo & his big bump x 
I've relived the moment a 1000 times little man. The realisation you are falling. My frantic run down the stairs half naked, me picking you up, screaming over your screams. Telling you I'm sorry, whilst screaming for my phone to call an ambulance. Your little tear stained face, all scrunched up in pain and disbelief.  

Somehow I pulled myself together to call an ambulance and the lovely lady on the phone pulled me together so I could relay my stupidity.  I took my eyes of the most precious thing in my life and I could have lost you.  

Holding you so tight, you are snuggled into my chest. Going quiet but still alert which I thanked God for. The lovely ambulance medic arrived and whilst tears streamed down my guilt ridden face, you were so brave. Brave whilst the medic checked you over and brave when you sat on his knee so mummy could dress. 

In the ambulance snuggled up to me your little anxieties came back, you clenched your little hands whilst sitting in this big new strange car.   But whilst your vitals were checked and I answered questions, you were so brave.  All snuggled up on my knee, your little toes feeling the tickle of the monitors and equipment.  

When we got to hospital you kept close to my chest, all the smells and sounds so new. But rather than crying and becoming afraid, you came alive. Your little eyes took in the new sights, your little nose the new strange scents and you finally found your little voice again and chatted on my knee.

Your little eyes grew wide and excited on seeing your Nana coming through the door to save the day. Or to at least put your mummy back together and show you extra security that you were missing a few hours earlier.

After being checked over and over and over and given the all clear for broken bones and head trauma, we were moved to a ward for observation. Taking everything in your stride, you loved playing in your new super sized cot. You found milk tasty, food yummy, toys funny, drawing entertaining and little brum brum cars so much fun to play with. 

Inside I was replaying the awful moment over and over again, blaming myself for being so careless and occupied when my eyes should have been on you. And now they are. Looking at your sore head, tiny little arms and legs and ragile little self. & I apologise a thousand times.

Thankfully you just have the bumps and grazes to show for your accident. Mummy's scars run deeper, but I promise you, it will never happen again.

Now home. Snuggled asleep on my knee.  I pray to keep you safe xxx

Thank you Liverpool Alder Hey Hospital for looking after us x 
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