“Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter;
that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows”.
Before I tell you about our magical morning, making Christmas decorations, I firstly want to talk about Glitter. You know those beautiful little particles, that reflect light, causing even the most rubbish of arts and crafts to shimmer and sparkle. But like all good ideas (soft play groups, chocolate biscotti and any form of messy play) it all inevitably ends in tears. Your tears. Because glitter is a the bitch that just keeps giving.
Our little arty farty craft morning was yesterday and the house is still full of the stuff. Henry one day later is currently running around the house with sparkly hair and a full glitter lip. Oh if only I was a beauty blogger, Glitter make-up is trending, apparently. Unfortunately this blog post doesn’t have tips on removing glitter from your bellow button (yes I have some there), however I do have some do’s and mostly don’ts on making Christmas decorations with a toddler.
1. Don’t spend a small fortune in your favourite craft store on paints, hanging mache decorations and embellishments and then spend the rest of the day thinking about what you could have bought from Asos.
2. Don’t craft it alone. This Saturday morning I invited my super gorgeous friend (& no.1 commenter on my blog, thanks sweetie) around with her uber trendy tot Kasper, to share the messy love. Great opportunity to catch up and someone to help you clean up in the end.
3. Don’t do it on an empty stomach. Want to keep that friend for life? Feed them first. Get them into a warm, maple syrup and pancake safe place, before ultimately ruining their Saturday and best clothes. Sorry Jools.
4. Do protect your surfaces. Admittedly I thought just covering the table with parenting magazines would be enough, but you have to think Bigger Picture. Cover your baby, cover your floors, cover you chairs, cover your ceilings and don’t forget to cover yourself.
5. Do make a brew. Once you commit to that chair with a toddler and paint, I’m afraid you are not moving again. Parenting rules that that after 11am, its socially acceptable to add wine or gin to your mug… delete were applicable.
6. Just get stuck in. Yes you can look up beautiful images on Pinterest, but lets be honest, our Little Monkey’s are no Elves, so forget the inspiration, just get stuck in.
7. Do however have a theme. A theme hides a multitude of sins, so I went for not so original red, green and gold. When your little one screws up on the painting, chuck a load of glitter at it and your little colour theme suddenly hides a multitude of sins.
8. Quit when you are ahead. Don’t push your luck. Toddlers have an attention span of 10 minutes tops. Before they start rubbing glitter in their eyes or eating it (yes it had to be my kid) whip them off to the sink to wash their potential house destroying hand.
9. Because 10 is far too many and no one like a show off… have a glass of wine, you’ve earned it x